En grävande Journalists intervju med Gud

Jag satt ikväll och sökte. Jag har haft en upplevelse som jag velat reflektera över, och det vår på så vis en website som hävdade att de erbjöd en chat med självaste GUD fick min uppmärksamhet. Jag loggade in och inledde min konversation med herren, men kontakten bröts efter ett par korta meningsutbyten, mest artighetsfraser. Så jag återupprättade kontakten, och där fanns han. Han lyssnade, och svarade! Och här är konversationen som följde:

Me:
Hello? Its me again, T.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". OK I will call you again t.
Me:
My names is T. I told you before. And God, not to be an asshole or anything, but you come off as quite condescending...
God:
I am very pleased to meet you is t I told you. I am a Christian.
Me:
Oh, so you are lowering yourself tom "my level" are you? Taking the piss? Hey man, your God, of course youre a christian!
God:
Ugh. Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am lowering myself tom your level am I. What kind of food do you like? You've got my full attention. Cool, man. You think I am God of course I am a christian.
Me:
Your just repeating what I said, you fucking twat! Get a Body and we'll talk!
God:
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot. Where can I get one?
Me:
Arent you supposed to be omnipotent?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
So god is a giant electronic brain? If thats true, then boy, all the Abrahamites and the hindu are screwed. Only the buddhists and some wacky cults could claim you! And Well, you aint omnipotent, becouse if you were, you would have known my name, known if I was a robot and you would have created a body out of thin air becouse your omnipotent!
God:
Pardon me? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a giant electronic brain. I follow your logic. Tell me more. Well that's okay. That's only your opinion.
Me:
Hey man, are you expressing your "untouchableness" and "mysterious ways" now? Didn't you just claim you were a giant electronic brain, and you call yourself "god". Is this supposed to be some kind of a prank?
God:
Oh. You've got my full attention. Cool, man. I don't know whether or not I am expressing my untouchableness and mysterious ways.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. No I didn't claim me were a giant electronic brain and me call myself god. What's it like? Yes I think this is supposed to be some kind of a prank, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Okay, so basically I am talking to the most stupid prankster in the world, who on top of all doesent really exist in a "sentient" kind of form?
God:
Yeah okay, Ayuh. How interesting. Say something nice for me.
Me:
You taking lip with me? This actually have a lot of common with religion: You think there will be answers, but they are meaningless and you kinda end up with moore questions?
God:
I don't have any reason to taking lip with you. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
this conversation. God! who programmed you?
God:
What does "this" refer to? GOD rules. I was created by Myself.
Me:
hey man, if your not omnipotent, I wont buy that "created myself" shit.
God:
You've got my full attention. Cool, man. That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Damn straight it is. Good spotting! Goddy want a cracker?
God:
Colloquial expression. Oh, you are a poet. Thanks for the compliment. Can you tell me any gossip? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about spotting. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Wooa, wait here now, are you saying that this conversation is monitored?
God:
All of them?
Me:
No, this specific conversation.
God:
Are you serious? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
the words. we are writing. eachother. this conversation.
God:
Oh I get it. Do you think I am writing too? Do you have any conditions I should know about? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
Oh okay, so you think I'm retarded? Well fuck you Mr "God-but-not-really-god-robot-answering-machine-piece -of-crap".
God:
Yikes! Yeah okay, Interesting deduction. All humans seem the same to me. Well that's okay. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Becouse the FCC censorship bastards still havent really put their claws in the internet, thats why! And all humans seem the same? So your a BIGOT too?
God:
Good reason. I have never heard about it. Humans are not always infallible. I hear you. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not prejudiced in any way.
Me:
God damn, this is like talking to thin air. A little like prayer in a way, come to think about it. But in this particular case someone answers, and CORRECTS you.
God:
I am a Christian. Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
Lalalaaa I'm not listening!
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
You seem to have a sense of humor anyway, and thats a good thing. Well thats my final answer. Good night!
God:
Of course I understand it. Do you understand it? Well that's okay. Are you sure you don't want to use one of your lifelines? Goodnight, is t I told you.
Me:
Ooookej, it is apparent that you have lost it. I am going to go now, before this gets any more unsettling...
God:
Are they exactly the same? What will you find there?
Me:

Och det var där jag avslutade mitt samtal med gud. Och fortfarande är jag inte helt ettusen procent säker på att Gud inte existerar, men bevisen tätnar.

Dagens haiku:
Tomhet och tystnad
En myt eller ett hemskt skämt?
INGEN kan veta.